Disappointing Expectations

So, onwards with a unstructured, blog that lacks sustenance.

So a few weeks ago I went to go see Tim Vine (The almost bald guy on not going out) at my local theatre/stage/thing. I was thoroughly disappointed. What I thought at first would be a stand up performance featuring the one liners he's so famous for turned out to be a 'chat show' where he brought people out from the audience to tell their funny stories/moments. This as expected was not funny at all. I will give him credit where credits due, he did try his best to make their stories marginally humorous and managed to pick it up a little at the end by doing some of his weird songs. Still, I managed to come out feeling as though my life would not have been changed an inch if I hadn't gone to see him.

These are what I like to call unfulfilled promises. Well. Only in a slight way for Tim Vine (I did say this was unstructured!) It's like buying a really nice perfume in a tall box, only to find a short tiny bottle inside. Getting hyped up by film critics and friends about the latest film and coming out of it thinking it's 'all right'. I swear, I need to lower my expectations when it comes to the media and production lines.

Oooh a title box!

So for the first time today I played a sport called Lacrosse. For those of you who don't know it's basically throwing and catching balls with small nets on sticks. Kind of like those mini nets you get at the beach but more structurally sound. This was 'interesting' and a lot more vicious when you're playing with over-excitable, competitive 16 year old guys. Yes, I am getting to my point. So afterwards my friend told me a little fact about this 'sport'. You can LEGALLY kill people in it. Apparently because of the hardness of the ball, and the fact that you're flinging it at high speeds at head height it's fine.

So that got me into searching weird rules and then into weird sports, here are my findings!

• Ferret Legging: a sport where competitors tie the bottoms of their trousers, shove a ferret down there and pull a belt tightly around their middle. Whoever can last the longest with the ferret in their pants wins. Why would people choose to participate in this?? You'd have to be crazy!

• Wife Carrying: Men carry their wives on their backs through an obstacle course, the woman doesn't even need to do anything. A closer look at the rules shows that the wife doesn't even need to be your own!! To be honest this sounds like a lot of fun! I need to get married and find a crazy guy to do this with!!

• Rock, Paper, Scissors is an official sport... wait... I can win money doing this?

• And of course Quidditch, which I already knew existed in the 'muggle world' and fully intend to find the nearest team near me! Which is apparently the East Hampshire Quidditch Team:    Petersfield, Hampshire | South East England. I need to see this!

Fairy Tale Faux-pas

So it seems that while everyone was watching the football (a terrible play by Chelsea by the way but at least we won the FA Cup final) I was busy procrastinating through a method I like to call nostalgia. After a friend sending me an old Disney song (I won't say I'm in Love for those who are wondering) I decided to go watch some old Disney movies. The ones where the animation was amazing and you could see how long they worked on it. Soon afterwards I remembered reading this:

‎"Jasmine was in a forbidden relationship with Aladdin. Snow White lived alone with 7 men. Pinnochio was a liar. Robin Hood was a thief. Tarzan walked without clothes on. A stranger kissed sleeping beauty and she married him. Cinderella lied and sneaked out at night to attend a party. These are the stories our parents raised us with and then they complain our generation is messed up?"

To be honest, I couldn't disagree more! It is typical of our generation (me included) to blame others for our own mistakes. Saying that beautiful old movies like these influenced our behaviour is like saying that every kid who played Pac-Man spends every day running around in a dark room listening to repetitive 8-bit music and popping pills. The media does have some influence over our lives; but not this much. Don't blame Fairy Tales that taught us to love people inside and out, to believe that we could achieve anything, that there is always the possibility of a happy ending. 

This isn't who we are, as kids these stories were what kept our imaginations fresh, it is only now that we look back with our naivety gone that we realise such things. Just remember that we were innocent. That these stories were just a way to make the world seem like a better place.

May The Fourth Be With You!!

Okay, so maybe this post isn't about Star Wars, but who can resist that pun?

Stress: the body's reaction to a change that requires a physical, mental or emotional adjustment or response.

Signs of stress being:

- Staying up till stupid o'clock to finish coursework
- Banging your head on the desk until unconscious
- Holding your revision at arms length whilst shouting 'WHAT ARE YOU???'

Nowadays that seems to be all my life is full of. Every waking minute I have my ICT teacher breathing down my neck, pressuring me for work I have already produced, deducting stupid amounts of marks for forgetting the hyphens in 'one-to-many relationship' once. Not to mention the amount of numbers I have to analyse, blaring from my screen: mountains upon mountains of Olympic running times for my statistics coursework. Then people tell me to 'relax'!

Tell me. How do you expect me to 'relax'?

know GCSE's aren't meant to be that big of a deal and that A levels are meant to be 'a lot more important' but they are to me. I can't seem to help but want to succeed in life. I don't know whether or not it's some sub-concious need to please people or whether it's just instinct. But in a way (a really weird way mind!) stressing out over these sort of things IS my way of relaxing. I know that if I actually relax in the proper way things would never get done and I'd just end up watching Lord of the Rings back to back or enjoy a Big Bang Theory marathon. Stress is good for you. No matter what they say! Stress somehow manages to get everything done.

Tablet ebook readers

It has come to my attention that over the past few years we have slowly been drawn in to the technological world. Slowly everything that we used to do by hand or mentally has been taken over by 'apps' that mean that we don't have to think and can spend our time 'productively' - watching TV or socialising. Now I was never completely drawn in to begin with. Sure I've used the odd calculator or guitar tuner (which is a god-send!) on my phone but with everything else? Zilch.

Now there is something more than an app. Something that threatens what I see as one of the most important things in the world. Tablet ebook readers.

Don't get me wrong, it's a good idea many books in one accessible place and before you say we have libraries - on the go. However it doesn't compensate for the actual experience. The warm fuzzy feeling you get when walking into a book store, browsing through the endless possibilities, different worlds, opinions. Finding that one book that catches your eye and prizing it open, getting that amazing new book smell that you can't really pin down. Triumphantly carrying it to the cash register and walking out of there knowing you've found something brilliant..... or maybe it's just me?

There's just something about staring at that bright screen that irritates me, something about that glare just hurts my eyes and I'm never able to get into the novel. I like being able to physically turn each page and when re-reading old soppy novels seeing traces of where I've cried my eyes out on it's pages. It's just my opinion, it doesn't make it law but I can't help it, books have always been my life, somehow managing to cheer me up when I feel there's no one there for me. I just think that technology shouldn't take away what has been done for centuries and hopefully it never will.

Books contain memories and reading from a tablet just can't compare with holding the physical book in your hands.

Ooh I play guitar...You didn't know?

So this is one of my first covers, I quite like it so I want to share it with you guys :) (I'm very sorry for the image freeze I recorded it using youtube)

Mentally sorting myself into a house

So, a week or so ago I was asked 'Which Hogwarts house do you think you belong to' - the key word here being think.

I'm not one for the on-line quizzes so I sat down and had a good old think. To quote Night at the Museum 2 'I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking' and to not much of an avail. So i started looking individually.

Hufflepuff: Now this house is extremely underrated, Hufflepuffs are loyal and are all about friendship and kindness etc. However, this is all they really are: Sheep. They follow the herd and in return don't actually get heard. Apparently they are also extremely good finders (of which I am not) Unsurprisingly I don't think I'm Hufflepuff. Although the hard working side I can relate to...

Gryfindor: If you ask someone they will almost automatically say Gryfindor; why? because Harry Potter was in it. But without really considering what it means to be one of them. I tend to associate this house with confidence. Of which I am extremely lacking. I'm not exactly the most confident person in the world, but I am working on it. using things like YouTube and BlogTv to get little boosts of confidence. To be honest, I'm not brave or daring. The bravest I can be is when everyone's scared of a spider so I either grab it or squish it - usually the latter.

Slytherin: Not to say that Slytherin is a bad house but...I'm not generally an evil person. I'm blunt but criticism is prejudice made plausible is it not? They're cunning, something I have never been; but ambitious which I do like about them as I do like to aim high. However they also show huge amounts of self preservation and tend to only think of themselves, I detest people who do that. So definitely not Slytherin.

That just leaves Ravenclaw. After thinking long and hard, I'm sure this is where I'm meant to be. Ravenclaw is about intelligence and wisdom, something about the constant strive for knowledge just pulls me in. I like intelligent people, having good long debatable conversations. Most of all, I like how Ravenclaws have the individualism trait. I like being an individual and saying what I think is right, not what everyone else is saying. I like being myself and looking how I want to look. Which is something I think everyone should strive to do.